We All Are Thespians

Sometimes you find yourself unseen

Where you expect to be noticed. 

And the decision, the process of deciding, to make yourself known happens.  

You decide to make yourself like someone you’re really not. Or rather you become the person that you think you ought to be. 

Just so, just so you’ll connect, you’ll be heard.  While that hole you’ve kept covered with your vest grows. 

Because what they all saw wasn’t really you at all.  

Shilo’s

I remember the diner in downtown San Antonio. They had the famous split pea soup. My dad went there. His office was on the next block, with all the pigeons, cigars, and mid day sun, and they ate and planned and laughed while I tagged along. 

And now I have worked in a downtown, in fact I have worked everywhere. And it’s 25 years later, but dammit I’ll find my Shilo’s.

Tree Trimming

What does it say about a man 

When I know that chainsaw can fall 

On me......

But I cut the branch anyway.  Nevermind that I’m standing on a ladder twelve feet in the air. 

And sure as hell, the freshly cut butt of that branch came right at my head.  I clung to my ladder, and the tree. 

Down it all came. The weight of it was so much more than I’d figured. Glad it didn’t take my fence with it. 

And the scant little bit of blood on my arm... well that’s just where the saw teeth  touched me before I threw it down- all the way down, before it cut off my arm too. 

But now the grass can grow again.  That vitex tree I planted can bloom again. Now the webworms are gone.  

Maybe it’s just that I was aware of the peril I just created, like a stimulant of sorts.  And, I’m so pleased with my yard.

But worrying for the safety of my family will make me lose sleep for days. 

Riverstone

A riverbed would be my most likely home.
Where, only sounds through water make sense...

Such like the thoughts in my head.

My world is my own.
As jagged as I once was,
I am now smooth.

Apply by Monday

The contradictions of this place irritated my mind. 

In front, a statue of a man washing another man’s feet, but a door locked only to allow approved visitors in. Yes, I had to wait to get in. 

And, an invitation to see for your self, 

To witness all the learning and personal growth of a class full of people paying $88 thousand for the privilege. By the way, class is limited to 36, but they’re flexible if you apply by Monday. 

This....building, which was built by the charitable donations of others, now belongs to a completely different owner who, wants you to apply by Monday. 

As I left I got an invitation to a poker game,

Tomorrow night from an old friend. I think my odds are better there. 

I like the statue though, Good reflection of the ones who actually paid for it. 

The Problem

You have done it again.


   What have I done?


You have put yourself in the middle of things.


   So, what's your point?


Well, it's about what you did.


  What?  What did I do?


Whatever you did, they didn't come away with whatever they wanted.


   Well, OK, what did they want?


What, you couldn't tell?


  Tell what?


They wanted to be proven right.


  Oh, was that what that was all about?


Yes, and you couldn't tell?


  Well, I really wasn't thinking about that.


What?


   I was just thinking about the problem.


Oh, well that's good I guess.


   Wasn't that what this was all about....solving the problem?


No, they wanted to blame you for the problem. And, they wanted to prove to you that you were wrong.


   Really?  Why?


Well, were you wrong?


   I don't know.  I was just trying to make sure we were right.


We?


  Well, that was the purpose of the discussion, right?


No, not at all. Did you solve the problem?


  Yes, of course.

What a woman does to a man

A ricochet,
Piercing the plans made..
Bounding from wall to wall
While I dined on my dinner.


With breaking glass
I forgot what happened before
And sit among shards tonight,
Staring out the door.


And a bullet still spins
In my wall,
Shot from some gun out there,
I can still hear it.


At one time in my life I was a solitary man.
I'd fry my steak and make mac 'n cheese,
Sit in my chair and watch TV.


Then, a shot rang out. 
And now I'm dodging bullets.
Or, I'm trying to get shot.
I'm not sure anymore.

A Gem

A gem has many sides.
Holding, turning, so seeing ourselves.
Where, that which we are is truly hidden.
Promises as facets, plans made...just made.


Pride for our own selves, our own worth, such facets are widest of all.


A gem is a gem after all.

Who knows the mysteries of our own nature?
Who, besides us, can tell our own truths?


No one will ever know our facets, not like we do.


We all polish our own stones.

Smoke a Brisket

Get up before the break of dawn
And grab a sausage biscuit.


Bring joy to friends and family too
Go out a smoke a brisket.

Homeless

Sleeping on a floor will make you appreciate what you have.
Where no pillow is laid nor a blanket,
And you've snuck in, hiding in a room where no one comes in.
But, you'll need to get out before sunrise.


But, a culvert will work too.
If you dry out the mud you could stay warmer.
There, inside a drain pipe along the road.
You get used to the cars.
Make sure to get deep enough into the drain pipe
so no one can tell you're there.


A tent,....a tent is a false hope.
Those things never do hold up to the wind, the rain, boxcutters.
But they are great for a night or two if you can find one,
empty, of course.


And out in the cold you are, at least for one more night.

Karma

You reap what you sow,
More than what you sow,
Later than what you sowed.


Whatever it is you'd done,
Even if it were known by no-one,
A time will come for what is due.


Loud cheers or adulation resounding
So lavished in days grown old.
Or, lost pride and comforts and shame.
All condemned, alone and cold.

Walking Dublin

Iron and cobblestone forged and laid by hands of men centuries ago still form the shape of this city, call me back to my kind. 

Men and women with handsome faces and solid shoulders pass on the sidewalk....each with some kind of purpose and a quick smile or nod, distinguished in their own way.  No one seems ordinary.

Construction crews sing or yell, it doesn’t matter where or when you pass by- that’s what they do. 

You can sit on a street side stairway and eat your lunch while seagulls laugh and swoop down to steal a chip.  Or bask in the sun on Stephen's Green, if it’s out.

Corners are crowded after work, and pubs are full at game time, with the occasional roar from a goal or foul echoing through the streets.

My feet are tired from walking but I can’t get enough of this place.

Granny (Tribute to Lolita Suttle)

She was a mother to all of us from one time or another,
Regardless of blood relation or family.
She didn't care.
And, regardless of whether we understood what it meant
just to give what you had to give.
But that how she was.
She was there for us always with a chair at her table,
and usually pie in the fridge.
She was a good listener, and would always want to understand
your point of view.
With most conversations she would interrupt and pause the discussion..
"Well why in the world would they do that?"
She never didn't seem interested and never went without a comment
on some matter or another.
She was full of comments, as we all knew.
She kept count of all of us.
She had rows and rows of Christmas stockings lining the rafters
of her living room ceiling.
And, most notoriously, she had the bathroom sign...we all know what it said:
"No job is finished until the paperwork is done."
That was a special thing...why? Because she wrote all of our names on it,
all the way up until she couldn't remember to do it anymore,
and there was little room left to write more names.
She loved us all and counted us hers, making sure we knew it one way or another
We will need to count each other now.

Nets

Woven and meticulously placed,

We set out our nets.

To catch, trick, fool, hold, ensnare. 

And we set them out again and again.

Being There

A father is like a paper airplane. Where without him there, there would just be....paper. 

But folded, just right, it might just fly. 

Thrown into the air not knowing where it would go. Flying, nonetheless.